Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. Proverbs 4:23


Friday, February 28, 2014

Count your rainbows, not your thunderstorms

Last night, I had the honor to gather with a very small but very important group of women to me.  Someone said something to me at this gathering; something very commonly said to me that all the sudden stood out in a new light.  I wanted to take a few minutes to share something with you today.

 You see, I am currently a member of a small church of Christ.  I like belonging to a small congregation as opposed to a larger one.  I have been to larger congregations and while I have experienced lots of love in them, I did not feel that closeness that I feel with this smaller one. 
Our small group of ladies have started a once a month Bible study for women, for the old hens and the young chicks as my mother-in-law so humorously stated during the lesson last night, and I am very excited about it!  As we gathered around, ate a wonderfully delicious supper together and talked about issues that we Christian women face, I felt so much closeness from the fellowship with my sisters in Christ.  If you are a Christian woman, especially a "young chick" one, I highly encourage you to join in an effort like this.  We need as much encouragement as we can get in this world! 

Anyway, last night, after our meal and lesson concluded, we all talked and laughed for what had to have been an hour.  At one point, someone said to me "I admire you for homeschooling!  I could never do that."  I can not tell you how many times people have said this to me.  Not to put down anyone's attempt to compliment me, but I sometimes think it's one of those phrases people say when they really don't know what else to say.  You know, like "Well, we are praying for you!"  or "Let us know if there is anything we can do."  Don't get me wrong, I believe the intentions behind each of these phrases are very sincere and I was not offended in ANY way by the compliment.   In fact, I always reply with a very sincere thank you.  But I just can't help feeling like there is not much that is admirable about homeschooling. 

While writing this blog post, I decided to look up the meaning of the word admirable.  Since I hear the word a lot, I wanted to know exactly what people mean when they say this to me.  The online Merriam-Webster dictionary defines admirable as "deserving the highest esteem: excellent."  Wow.  Let me tell you.  As someone who knows me best, this is not me at all.  Homeschooling is a very non-excellent thing for me.  And there may be a bit of esteem involved but it is certainly not the highest.  I think outsiders, if you'll allow me to use that word, may think homeschooling looks something like this...
 
Or possibly even this....
 
 
But that is a different blog post altogether.  


But, I assure you, homeschooling in this family looks just like this...


Now, there's nothing admirable about that is there?  I mean, you may be admiring those sweet cat pajamas but other than that...nothing admirable.  I am constantly worn out.  There are days when I just want to completely throw in the towel, raise the white flag, jump ship, etc.  But I don't because I have help from the great I AM.  Without constant communication through prayer with God, trust me homeschooling would not be possible...at least not for me.  Our Little School girl is extremely strong-willed.  And Little Sis can make the worst messes I have ever seen.  I love my girls with all my heart but there are days where I literally have to take a break.  I will go to my bedroom or bathroom (wherever I can get away behind a locked door) and quietly cry my eyes out in prayer, usually while lying prostrate on the floor.  I'll beg God for more strength, more courage, and definitely more patience.  It's not pretty but it's effective.

While giving my usual, "Thanks!" and "It's fun but hard!" responses to this sweet lady last night, I remembered a quote I saw on Facebook the other day.  "Count your rainbows, not your thunderstorms."  I have no idea who said this but they are right on!  I am constantly learning to focus on those rainbows; relying on God to help us through those bad days and really, really enjoying those good ones.  When I start to think about all the rainbows that the thunderstorms of homeschooling can bring, it really does start to make the whole situation a little more admirable for me.  Snuggling with my girls every morning, spending so much time getting to know them and their sweet and funny little personalities, seeing all their milestones, achievements and AHA! moments, comforting them when they get a boo-boo....I could go on and on about all the rainbows.

If you are a homeschooling mom, then you will know exactly what the spirit of the post means.  If you are not a homeschooling mom, then maybe you now have a little better understanding of our lives as homeschooling mothers.  Definitely not admirable but definitely worth it. 

God bless!

Katie



3 comments:

  1. Love this Katie! I just started homeschooling with my little one and I can tell already that it is not going to be as easy as I had hoped. Don't get me wrong... I knew it wasn't going to be cake but, learning where Mom stops and teacher begins without having any clear direction with this is the most difficult so far. Love reading your posts and hearing your insights.

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  2. I began homeschooling when it was not legal yet. Believe me! That was almost a nightmare, but my husband and I were committed to guiding and guarding the hearts of our children. Now, after nearly 50 years of hard work, we watch as our children homeschool their children and are pleased with the results. It is wonderful to see this passed on to another generation.

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  3. Hit the nail on the head as I struggle to hang on during what has become our hardest homeschooling year to date-- junior year for the oldest. Thank you for voicing what I have been feeling lately. I think others often perceive what I do as being almost effortless for me; it is anything but that. Maybe I don't show it outwardly, but inwardly I am exhausted more often than not. Homeschooling is a tremendous blessing, but not one that comes without a price. Every day I struggle with whether we are doing all we that we should, whether we have balance (so school and society's definition of it aren't the end all to what we are trying to accomplish), whether I am expecting too much at times, and the list could go on. Add in having a homeschooler that is about to leave the nest and, well, some days I feel like I bit off more than I can chew. I know that's not the case, however. God didn't bring us to this place in life by chance. It is nice to just know that I am not alone. That it's okay if I'm hanging by a thread sometimes... and in pajamas all day doing it! Someone else is, too! THANKS!

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